Stick insect

I swear it’s not just a stick. It was walking when I found it. I guess it looks like I just put a photo up of a stick on my blog.

3!

My lovely son turned 3 today. What a big kid! We organised a birthday party for him and he loved it! He was so tired by the end of the day.

I have a secret I would like to share

A dirty little secret. I watch Bold and the Beautiful. I have for years. So sad, I know. I don’t tell anyone because it’s kind of embarrassing! Haha.

Sigh

I have so many things on my mind. So many annoying emotions. I wish I had a more even temperament. I wish I was less me and more strong and self confident. How do you become like that? Are you just born like that? How can I feel like I’m actually living instead of just existing? How can I relax enough to enjoy things?

Hrm…deep Ange. I think I just vomited a little.

Moolah

I work hard for my money. So hard for it, honey.

I need a new job.

I really do.

Motherhood and guilt

Just read this thing on Facebook. It paints a story about a mum at a playground, her kids are playing, but she is checking her mobile. The writer is telling her to put the phone down and enjoy the company of her children. Watch them run and play etc etc. The writer is just worried that they will miss out on this time with the children….blah blah blah.

*Eye roll*. I personally believe strangers shouldn’t give other people parenting advice. Especially if they are only seeing a snapshot of that parents day. The whole post just oozes guilt. Trying to make the mother feel guilty for just peeking at her phone. Would it be different if the mother was there with friends and talking to them in person?

What if that mother has spent all day with her children (being an awesome kick arse mother), but decided to take them to the park so she could get a few minutes of time to herself while her children play happily on their own or together?

L

Still not tall enough! My little toddler is over 100cms tall, bloody unbelievable! He’s going to be tall like his mumma.

Annoyed

I’m getting annoyed easily these last 2 weeks. Not with L or hubby though. Just everyone else…lovely, aren’t I? I think most of my annoyance has to do with my job. I want a career change. I want to do something creative. Something not depressing. Something fun and enjoyable.

The thought of having another child and continuing at my current job makes me literally sick to my stomach.

Stuff and things

We have been working on tidying up our front yard. Mark installed some pop up sprinklers which was very clever of him. I weeded the pavers, which took like 2 hours! It was bad. This week I might weed the driveway pavers. I wanted to do it last week, but I was lazy. We also have to get rid of the last stump in the middle of the yard. That’s hubby’s job because I have nil upper body strength. The thing we will have to be patient about is getting the grass all nice. It takes time to get rid of all the weeds and things. I’ve been enviously eyeing off peoples lovely lawns. I’m weird, I know! I want a lawn that looks all nice and spongy and like carpet. We’ll see how good the lawn looks in a few months from now, ay? It sure takes dedication!

While I’m on the subject of dedication, I have lost about 2 kilos. Sucks, I know. My stupid scales are so inaccurate though. So I probably haven’t lost anything!

Do you ever procrastinate about going to the doctor because you think they’ll think you’re a hypocondriac? I know it’s silly for me to think this, but I just had a bad experience with my GP. For many months last year I was feeling tired, breathless and dizzy. Before the feeling tired, breathless and dizzy began I had 2 bouts of what my doctor said was a chest infection. Anyway, I took my antibiotics and felt better for awhile. Eventually the coughing stopped, but that’s when I started to feel tired, breathless and dizzy. I actually just ignored it for a few months because it would come and go. I thought to myself I’m tired because I have a toddler, I’m breathless because I’m unfit. Maybe I’m dizzy because I haven’t been drinking enough. Eventually I went to my GP and I told him how I’d been feeling. He told me I was stressed and depressed. I don’t think he even took my blood pressure or listened to my chest. I did feel stressed. I was a new mum. I didn’t feel particularly depressed, but maybe he was right? I left his office feeling stupid and embarrassed. Anyway, the dizziness, breathlessness and tiredness didn’t go away. I ignored it for another few months because the doctor had told me that it was from stress. Guess what happened? One day I woke up and it hurt every time I took a deep breath. “Hrm”, I thought. “Maybe this is all in my head”. That night it still hurt when I took a deep breath and I had to sleep sitting up because my chest would hurt if I tried to lay down. I couldn’t sleep because it hurt to breathe. I ignored my body for probably 4 days until I thought I better go to the doctor. I didn’t go to my regular GP because I was worried he wouldn’t believe me, or tell me it was bloody stress! Turns out I had a pleural effusion on my right lung. Pleural effusions are not an illness on their own, they are caused by an illness. So I was basically sick for months.

Vent over. I’ve been holding that in for months. Just trust yourself and what your body is trying to tell you.

Featherdale wildlife park, Sydney

We went to the wildlife park the other day. It was our second time there. We went once before when L was around 18 months old. It was a nice way to spend some family time, but I forgot how expensive entry is, but maybe that’s just how much these things cost.